Earning My Keep

I was recently called out for being a helper in this MPR The Current interview.

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While it felt good to be acknowledged for service to my community, it mostly got me thinking about how this came to be. Why am I this way? Do I give too much? Could I be doing more? I don't remember a certain point that I started to love giving and helping but I do remember, early on, feeling great when I would help at a food drive at school or volunteered to help a teacher after school. I think I loved the variety and different view that it provided (and getting out of class wasn't so bad either). It was new and fresh and it allowed time to get to know other people that I didn't usually encounter a little better.

This guy, ammirite?

"Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” —Fred Rogers

For me, giving back isn't a second thought, or something I do when I have spare time. Giving back is something I set out to do each and every day, and after years of doing it, it's built in. I really don't believe that a person can be truly successful without giving back and serving their community and what they value in some way. I am teaching my boys the same thing. We volunteer together, donate time and items to charity, pick up litter in our neighborhood, and always sponsor a family at Christmastime to make their holiday as magical as ours. It's up to me to raise helpers, and model this behavior for others. Additionally, I have a policy to not take work that doesn't have a charitable aspect built in, or an openness to have me build one in.

Fortune is earned.

Success without giving back unbalances things. Now, I'm not entirely sure I believe in luck, but I think that fortune exists. Consider that fortune isn't granted without hard work. My immediate reaction to good fortune of any kind is to donate money, time, or resources and pass that feeling or fortune to someone else. I think this has made all of the difference, and that it definitely contributes full circle back to my success. My life is richer because I give.

Five quick ways to give:

1) Give a cash donation to your local food shelf. We know now that cash goes a lot farther than actual food does.

2) Get involved in a fundraiser. Or, better yet, plan one yourself. A group of us put together this fundraiser for a friend earlier this year. Pool your resources and expertise and get busy.

3) Have time but no money? Volunteer for an organization whose values match yours. Bring a friend. Hell, bring a date!

4) Tried and true: Feed parking meters that aren't yours. I get a roll of quarters whenever I'm at the bank just to keep in my car for this purpose. It feels amazing, and costs so little.

5) Donate your services or expertise to a charity or nonprofit. Social media specialist? Give a short seminar for a nonprofits' marketing team. Content strategist? Offer some guidance on their web presence. Photographer? Capture their office and people.

Please share your ideas in the comments below on easy ways you give back. Then, rewrite your life as a helper. I promise it will come back to you in spades.

If you liked this article, you may also like: Now Is The Time.

THIS IS IT. Now is the time. You are the one.

This guest post I wrote for 5 BY 5 Design's Inspiration page ran today:

I'm a freelance publicist and producer for creatives and entrepreneurs. I work with some of the most talented and innovative people in the world. I get to travel for work! When I'm not traveling, I mostly work in a hoodie and yoga pants. I work whenever I want, wherever I want. I am, quite literally, living my dream.

You know how I got this job? I made it up. I patchworked together my favorite things to do, what I know I'm good at, and called it a thing. I filed for LLC, made a website, and started. I had lots of people tell me I couldn't do that. But I didn't listen. Why? Because the people who were cheering for me were louder.

How did I get to this place? I realized a few years ago after staying at home with my boys for the five years prior that I just had this one time around. Maybe it was witnessing their daily joy, maybe it was coming out of the fog of the early stages of parenting, maybe it was the sleep deprivation. Probably a combination of those factors and others. There it was, clear as a bell: THIS IS IT. Now is the time. You are the one.

In this time I also realized that I was part of a dysfunctional marriage that was broken beyond repair. I could no longer show the boys how to be married to their dad well. I could, however, show them how to be solely happy; how to be happy alone. Which, if you think about it, may be the most important skill we ever learn. I could show them how to work hard, be honest, and build something from the ground up. I could show them that women are leaders. This will be my legacy. And I can't think of anything better.

THIS IS IT. Now is the time. You are the one.

When they asked me to do this guest post, I wasn't quite sure if they wanted me to do a PR tips list, or what, so I went to their website to see what others had written and found that the space where they put these articles is called "Inspiration". I've told this exact story at least 1000 times in person but had never written it down. Decided it was time, and here's the result. This is far better than any PR tips list in the inspiration category. We just get this one time around and every move we make; word we say counts. I hope you can find a way to get unstuck if you are. Tell the truth, especially to yourself. I wish you heaps of courage.

If you liked this article, you might also want to check out this list I made about knowing yourself better.

On Living Modern Life Well

This week in my METRO Magazine column, I write about drawing lines in the social sand or "How To Deflect a Friend Request From Your Prying Coworker." In addition to being an exercise to reflect on how I come to my decisons of who to add where, it became an audit system. In the spirit of being a good model of my advice, I unfollowed nearly 500 people on Twitter whose posts had no value to me and have been subtracting people from Facebook that I added before my "personal friends" only rule went into effect (so far, around 25 people). It's refreshing. Less to skip over, and I'm seeing more posts I want to. I give you permission to do the same!

BONUS QUESTIONS!

Reader Lucie Amundsen asked me last week how I deal with the people who post those '99% of you won't repost this' chain-mail type messages on Facebook. Usually, I scroll right by. It's the strangest phenomenon, I think. If you're passionate about a subject, just post a personal message about it. Try to avoid ever duplicating a post, if possible. It's like paging through the paper to find they've inserted the same article five times. At least Facebook groups duplicate posts now and lists the names of friends who posted it, which is helpful. If you have someone who posts these types of things frequently, I say unsubscribe. It's a very good tool to keep your news feed full of only what you wish to read. People who post these things: STOP. Please? We want to read your words.

On adding coworkers: A reader, who chooses to remain anonymous, told me about her system for new coworkers: if they make her laugh five times after having lunch with them and enjoying their company, she'll consider adding them. I like it! Why not? Another noted that adding coworkers on social networks sure makes it hard to gripe anonymously about them. While I don't have coworkers in the traditional sense, I can bet the pressure to add could be tricky. It should be noted that griping online is rarely, maybe never, encouraged. Answer the questions I lay out in the column to help you determine who to add, and when.

Is there a way that you do it or you've heard of that works particularly well? Please share it with us below.

Ask Clever Kate more questions on her Facebook page.