I've answered two bonus questions that will run only here below. Enjoy!
Betsy Kroon (@betsykroon) writes: After a friend wrote something hurtful, without naming me but that I think was clearly about me, I'm wondering what is the best way to address passive aggressive statements on Facebook? Is there a best practice for such situations? It really stung.
Nothing stops a passive aggressor in their tracks more than confrontation. Whether you choose to that publicly or privately is your call. (My choice? Privately.) Write honestly, without accusing, and use words describing how you felt when you read it. First find out if it was about you. Ask, am I mistaken? Or was that about me? And if they fess up, let them know you wish they would've talked to you about it more directly (if that's true). Apologize, letting them know you're sorry that they were offended, explain yourself (if you see fit). Calling people on things, I've witnessed, is an amazing personal growth catalyst. Since I've used this method, I've developed much stronger relationships and in some cases, moved on from ones that were no longer working. Either way, a forward moving result.
Conner McCall (@sloped) asked: What would you say is a reasonable amount of time to wait to friend someone you've started dating? I've had friends that add people after a first date, and that just seems crazy. But many people thought I was nuts for recently waiting 8 months.
I'm with you, Conner. I think that waiting is the right choice. I'm in the old school camp of dating, leaning towards taking your time in every direction. There are so many wonderful moments of discovery when you are first dating someone and Facebook can easily squash that, dumping all the details about a person's life is one virtual sitting. I'd say a minimum of 3-6 months is a good start, within which you will likely know if there's the possibility of longevity in the relationship. Waiting also eliminates the dreaded task of having to unfriend them shortly there after should it not work out. That isn't to say that no relationship can end in friendship, just a way to slow things down a bit and make sure.