“Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” –E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web
We live in a time without a lot of waiting. If there’s more than one person in line at Target, the red shirts swoop in and take over. Gas stations have twenty pumps. We have multiple glowing rectangles that deliver messages to us frenetically. It has become absurd. Remember waiting for a phone call as teenager? Those wonderfully tactile moments when your emotions crossed over and started oozing out of your skin? I’m nervous! I’m excited! I always loved that. Now a series of constant interruptions don’t really allow us to feel much completely. A friend recently shared that he thinks even the novelty of the instant gratification is starting to wear off. Yep. Read it again. I think he might be right.
I like waiting. Not in lines so much, but in life. There’s something about the anticipation for me that makes the result more meaningful. These are the moments when nothing is certain, no questions need to be answered, no actions need to be taken. We just are allowed to be. I may have just described my personal idea of heaven unknowingly. You know a great place to satiate the wait is? An art museum. So much quiet there and also filled with works that took a long, thoughtful time to complete. The trick is to remember the feeling once you leave; bottle a little of it up.
I say the next time you’re given a “Can I let you know?” Embrace it. Give it a nice long squeeze. Even a shimmy. Next time you’re not sure? Delay your response a little. May I suggest a nap? How about a trip to a bookstore? Also, it’s important to allow others room to do the same.
My point is that we should attempt something new and not numbly succumb to the frantic pace, try actively to be more patient, and thoughtfully seek out slower things to do. Let’s see what happens if we become comfortable in this space of wait. I’m betting we’re going to like it.
If you try, will you let me know how it goes? I’m very interested to hear.
i have been practicing this for a couple of months now, i started because i was experiencing Severe Information Overload Fatigue.
i don’t know if this is helpful for anyone reading this – but i have found that for me, the best way to wait to give a response is to wait to read what needs to be responded to. i stopped jumping to action every time my phone dings a text. now i don’t feel overwhelmed when i hear the sound.
expanding the response time has recalibrated expectations from people trying to contact me, as well.
DO IT! it is entirely liberating.
Very wise words. On so many levels. I thought of this post over the weekend and felt content and gratified when I told myself to have patience and know that things will come in time.
Jess, thank you for sharing that. (giant grin!)
Hmmmm. Yes. “Recalibrating”. I just love the sound of that: for me it means the idea of returning something to it’s original or natural state – in this case technology not warping time. Today I decided to turn off my mobile alert “ding” that sounds when an email or text comes in. I think over time something that was meant to be a convenience has incrementally added some layers of anxiety on me. And that is not how I want to live. So my goal is to unravel “time” from “anxiety”.
I have a hand signal for “recalibrate” Jane, remind me to show you next time I see you. Also decided to start doubling my response times; even if that means two minutes instead of one. And, a special treatment when people “cross media” me, meaning text, then email, then DM when they don’t hear back. Evil? Maybe. But the best kind.
SO GLAD i’m not the only one thinking these thoughts. not only does giving myself time (even the time to take a deep breath) help me feel less anxious, it helps me give a response i feel good about.
i love the silent mode on my phone. no sound, no vibrating. i love focusing on what and who are in front of me, and the experiences i am fortunate to be a part of.
i’ve been thinking similarly about relationships (with the boys, you know)–there is no rush. we have all the time in the world.
with technology, with people, practicing patience is so good for me. it helps give me perspective in so many ways.